I sometimes used to put a little sign on the stand that said, "WARNING: 600 Ohms".
that, is awesome.
thats the best laugh I've had all day.
to the OP:
I agree with tonedeaf; it's either move back or get good in tight quarters. I've made an effort to get good at setting up and blocking solo. It's not fun per se, but it's a useful skill. The chair bit is gold, I use that myself. Anything that is provided by the venue (poles, chairs, the soundboard cage) that you might be able to get away with that
won't look out of place when you use it is what I look for every time I walk into a new room.
Actually, a smaller stand (footprint wise) is the best thing here, instead of a jumbo 12' stand with a wide footprint, consider a 7' one with a small area to guard. If you're in the prime spot it's a fair trade (height for closeness to the sound source) IMHO. Second, look at having a "tight quarters" setup, like the ability to keep your bag on your shoulders (comfortably), cables off the ground, ready to move the stand at a split second in case someone comes barreling into it, etc. If I'm in an open field in the dark, thats how I setup and get ready if moving back is an atrocious option comparatively. If I can use some natural surroundings to my advantage, I will and start to relax, but otherwise it's treated like "work." When possible, look for creative ways to clamp. Over half my mounting gear is related to clamping with arms and extensions and clamps for various sizes so I don't have to guard the stand legs per se, just the general area where it's clamped. I don't think I've used my 11' stand in almost 70 shows... It's either clamping on someone else's jumbo (so I help guard), using my 7' small stand, or clamping onto natural surroundings.
fart spray 
not a bad (legit) idea really... remember, beans are high in fiber...
