You will get this by anywhere but the result will be so bad that it's not worth the trouble and money. I recommend taking a decent camera or leave it be and just enjoy the show!
Agree, the result would be pointless.
Dunno about the venue the OP mentioned, but you'll get a lot better pictures with most built-in mobile phone cameras these days, and my understanding is that most security won't bother confiscating your phone, right?
Like the Samsung SGH-G8x0 series. 3x optical zoom, 5 megapixel and halfdecent flash (although you might not want to use flash with nazi security):
If I wanted to bring a separate camera for stealth, I'd get myself a Casio Exilim EX-S12. 15mm thick, you could crotch this thing anywhere