Not sure if I antagonized him or he antagonized me...but I was completely turned off by his attitude. Had he said to just not distribute it, or even had he said not to record at all, I wouldn't have had a problem. But asking me to (a) stick around after the show so he could hear the recording, and (b) erase it if he didn't like it...yeah, fuck him. Especially considering he has the same very co-operative management as Sleepy Sun, and that's how I got pointed toward him in the first place. Of course Sleepy Sun were the polar opposite to deal with. And actually make music I like.
He antagonized you by responding to a request to record with a condition? He owns the music. It's his livelihood, so it's substantially more valuable to him than it is to you. I agree, that's kind of a strange condition. OTOH, he doesn't know you at all. He could also not allow taping at all. And you've already said you don't even like his music. Seems to me he tried to accommodate you in a way that he felt comfortable. He has
zero obligation to do that. You paid to go see the band perform, which presumably they did. Why should you be entitled to anything beyond that?
I'm not saying I'd have necessarily gone along with that condition. I'd have probably said, "OK, that's cool, I don't really want to wait around after the show, so I won't record it." Personally, if a band has a bunch of conditions on what has to happen with the recording, I factor that in when I decide whether to go or not. But I'm not really sure why it makes them bad people if they have a different view of how their music can be used by me (for free), than I do.
The more I actually interact with artists, the more I learn that just like in any other profession, different ones have different approaches and levels of comfort about things. But pretty much all of them, especially the ones who do it full time, take it really, really seriously. Their job is to make music, play it, and sell it, which doesn't pay much to begin with. Accommodating something some fan (or worse, non-fan) wants to do is them
doing you a favor. If, after I'd gone out of my way to even consider letting someone tape, someone responded the way you say you did, I can pretty much tell you where I'd come out: I would never bother dealing with tapers again.