Well I can't think of a funny segue back to the original topic gasping at ludicrously flakey audiophile gear.
....which may not be such a bad thing..
..so I'll apologize now for enthusiastically hyjacking the thread when beer was mentioned.
Mr Shephard, one of the highlights of any trip I make down to the NW is your fine hopping of ales.
(Chris, boat size is directly related to the weather and how far you intend on going )
Ok lets get back to making fun of products..
Here are some fine examples of "ABS"
http://www.soundstage.com/synergize/synergize041999.htmhttp://www.shunmook.com/text1.htmHIGH END
BULLSHIT GENERATOR for AUDIOPHILE MAGAZINE WRITERS
http://www.tech-diy.com/audio_bs.htm "AUDIOPHILE QUOTES"
"Pulling harmonics together from a jumbled auditory stream to form a coherent harmonic envelope."
"Image outlines were sharply focused in space with believable palpability."
"There was plenty of bass detail to behold."
"The music flows with gusto and verve. It squeezes instrumental images into incredibly palpable outlines."
"...more muscle and definition, and a heart that is pure gold."
"Most preamps when pushed hard change their sonic signature."
"Harmonic colors were somewhat on the dark side."
"By using the $450 gold plated RCA stereo jumper cables for all line-level connections, and the newly available $1200 gold plated XYZ speaker wires, we were able to achieve a distinct improvement in highs and the deepest rich bass lows I have ever heard. A massive improvement over ordinary old copper."
"These cables deliver big time! The sound is surprsingly smooth and spacious, with particularly sweet upper octaves."
"If you connect a ground to the chassis of your power amplifer and use 4 gauge wire connected to a bucket of salt water with a copper coil in it, your mids and highs will be the sweetest you have ever heard. Works with car audio systems too. Place the bucket in the trunk and reduce speed on corners and when braking, to avoid spillage."
"Special wooden resonator disks made in Asia from a special tree, only found in one area. Placing these under EACH of your components, at strategic locations will remove 'unwanted resonances', and DRAMATIC improval tonal quality. The difference is astounding. These disks of wood sell for around $100 to $400 EACH (depending on size)."
"somewhat fuzzy portrayal of image outlines."
"Harmonic textures ebbed and flowed with startling dynamic nuances and the sort of liquidity and purity one only comes to associate with world-class audio products."
"Harmonic textures are painted slightly gray in color."
"Spatial detail was painted with a fine brush that readily resolved massed voices and the air around individual instruments."
"Image outlines, however, are more precisely focused within the soundstage and in general the Accordance is capable of sketching out a convincing 3-D acoustic impression."
"It felt like I had crawled into a warm and inviting sonic womb."
"Not content with straight S.E.X. (the single-ended experimenter's kit), the Doctor introduces the "69" tapered pipe loudspeaker. Sounds like a recipe for a mind-blowing sonic orgasm."
"The impression of speed and control was strong."
"Bass lines were fleshed out with excellent definition."
"It is less lush sounding than..."
"...force feeding the listener an earful of detail; more accurately, a barrage of in-your-face zingers that becomes almost an instant irritant."
"Each tube brand seems to have a unique flavor of its own."
"Certain busy passages of music get congested."
"... sounds either euphonic or bright."
"The Equilibre ($8,475) - nominally a 60-watt stereo amp."
"It could well explain the sweet sounds that come from using passive preamps straight into the power amplifiers."
"...with an easy-to-drive impedance magnitude."
"Rendition of harmonic colors was suave and smooth, with a believable sugar coating."
"Exposure of low-level detail, even in complex passages, without leaving anything to the imagination."
"The mids are vivid in spades with wave after wave of honey-coated harmonic bliss."
"The midbass region is "fun"
"the upper mids are a bit more laid back than I would like."
"the low bottom end is not there..."