When I can't wear a hat (e.g. symphony), and the rows aren't elevated in a tiered fashion (school multi-purpose room), I go for someone I can hang my coat, but that only works in the winter...
The absolute worst situation and one I would have to resort to wearing mics on my shoulders or lower would be at a symphonic show (no hat, or at least out of place), where there are no seats, just one GA level, in my home town where people at the show might know me (not security, just random people), I'm alone, and the lights are on. Everything else I think I could pull something if I was motivated, especially if I was willing to plan ahead and had a little help.