I'm guessing that this was an on-the-fly mix, and that you cannot just cut out the SBD since the mix is too uneven, correct?
Assuming so, there's probably not too much you can do about that bass drum being too loud when it is raised in the mix b/c the attack ("thwack") part of the bass drum sound is going to cross over too many frequencies shared by other instruments. A high pass fiilter somewhere inbetween 50 - 80 hz or so should be enough to limit the boominess, and you could try a notch filter around 80hz for the "thump" part of the bass drum sound, but there is not much that can be done to reduce the entire sound of the bass drum without also affecting the rest of the music.