you potentially speak for all of us when you're in a confrontation with club/promoter/band authorities. wise up and hold your tongue. worst case scenario, you get a black eye. best case scenario, well... you don't get a black eye. but you do still get to look like a douche in front of your peers now that you've posted your story publically! sweet!
I don't think you look like a douche at all. I don't videotape concerts; I only tape audio for bands that allow it, so take that for what it's worth. If some douchbag security dude was being unreasonable the way you described I'd call him out on it too. I'm not going to take shit from some asshole on a power trip (that doesn't even know the policy) to protect the name of other tapers. Again, I understand it's different when you're breaking the rules.
I've never once had situation escalate with anyone from a venue. I always stay calm, and when someone doesn't know the policy I ask to speak to their supervisor. But in cases of someone from the venue being rude and a dick like that; call a spade a spade.